Well, here it is again. That day that I remember holding you while your breathing was shallow. Being there when you passed to Heaven. I remember the few days before. Being with you and Kingston at Home Depot. You both "got fussy" so I put him in your car seat and you LOVED it. You both calmed down and fell asleep.
I remember the JOY I felt to be a mommy! To be YOUR mommy. I was just ELATED!! That same day I found you in bed...and something was VERY wrong. I was hysterical. Your loving daddy brought you back but you needed to be on life support...we soon were told that you would need to stay on life support to live. We had a feeling before they told us that you were ready. Ready for that next step. That you were already "gone" in a way...Those days seemed like an ETERNITY. We weren't ready. We wept and wept...
...we sang primary songs...popcorn popping, and nursery rhythms...we sang for hours...and gave kisses....LOTS of kisses...
...and we knew what we needed to do, but it was SO painful. When the tubes were gone you kept breathing on your own...for hours and hours. MANY of your family members..Even your auntie living in Tel Aviv came!! They all made it just in time...we wonder if you hung on for them. You Naimah, who we learned more about during those three days than we EVER thought possible, our Angel. You breathed on your own for 12 hours...and we watched. Knowing we could breath for you but that it was NOT what you needed. It was what we wanted. Having to watch you leave...listening to the machines anxiously...knowing it could be any moment now. Moments of weeping mixed with this...
PEACE. Peace that it was the plan for you; for us. Peace that we WILL reunite.
So today we remember those moments and long for more.
One of your Auntie's did something VERY sweet and gracious for you today...
she wrote your name in the sand. This tribute means a GREAT DEAL to us. Another one of your Auntie's had a star named after you for Christmas 2007. That was another gracious gift. We've had many, many acts of love and grace since you've gone. Many others, who haven't even been able to meet you, visit your little grave. You've touched so many lives.
I want to touch your little hands, feet, hair...to bathe you and watch you grow. To watch you get teeth, crawl, and figure out what things feel like. To look at me in a puzzled way when you taste new things. I want to hear you cry in the night again...that was one of the hardest things to get use to...no noise at night. No little voice needing a diaper change or food...
I simply love and miss you. Every day. I still cry. But I am SO happy with your daddy. I laugh EVERY DAY with him...oh how I love your daddy...he's been my best friend. He supports me and loves me. We share everything..including our memory of you. We are thankful for who we've become because of you. Thank you..we LOVE you!!!
~mommy & daddy...ur doggies...and kitty ;)~
