Happy 2nd Birthday, miss you always

Every day I look at pictures I have of you... I wonder what you might be doing, saying, and what your favorite thing would be to investigate while we're not looking. If your anything like your mother, you would be getting into something!



I think you know that besides missing you, and all that comes at us in life, Emil and I have had an exceptionally difficult month. Thank you for staying close enough for me to know you were there...that means a lot.



I get flash backs of the night that turned our world around, and I'm sorry I let myself go there... I still get "what if's", thinking maybe that I could've kept you with us somehow; I don't mean to show lack of faith, I just want to experience what I signed up for. I want to hear you laugh again, and cry! I want to hold you and play with your gorgeous hair like I use to. I want so many things... I want to kiss your eyes, snuggle, and watch you grow. It feels like it will take so long for me to get there.



I don't mean to sound ungrateful for you. These are the feelings I have and they haven't ever changed. It's strange to feel this, but be at peace with your death. To know that you are PERFECT forever, to know that I have a chance to raise you just as you left me. It's strange to not be able to have a 2 year old today. To be throwing a little girly party for you. I had just a regular day today. The same as so many, but you aren't here...



The fact is, that you are just where you should be, and so are your daddy and I. He had a nice Father's Day, thank you for what you did for us. ;) We know that we will have more little ones one day, but it's not time. We know that all this pain and hurt, peace and love is a blessing. YOU are a blessing. Two years ago today, I hadn't even held you yet! It felt like forever before I got to. It was worth all the difficulty in getting you here. We miss you. We love you. Time doesn't seem to have healed us yet. But we are happy. We have had healing in other ways, but it's just as sereal as it ever was...that you were here, and now your not. We remember everything about you. You are our Angel, and we strive to be worthy of such an honor.

Love you always, baby girl,

Mommy and Daddy
(and Kingston!!)

You'll love this!

WARNING: This is amazing, warm, and moving. You will love it. You will want to post it on your myspace, facebook, twitter, blogs, weebley's, wordpresses, etc. You will get chills and it may even make you happy and/or want to dance. You could become a "repeat offender", so please listen responsibly. Love-aki Inc. Insured.

Let's see...

I've been too busy to post much, as you can tell. Let's see...

Eve and Brad (our cousins) have been our BESTEST buddies and they're moving on in life... in IOWA! The artic of the U.S.! We made them a cake to say good bye...

Here we are playing one of our favorite games...Settlers of Catan!!

We've been close to them in many ways and will really REALLY miss them!! :(

Mother's Day was...bitter sweet. We spent it with Brad and Eve, which really helped. They have intrusted us to watch over their sweet baby boy's grave, since they'll be living in Iowa for his PhD the next four years. We are happy to do so. It's meant a lot to us to have family who can visit Naimah's grave for us, and watch over it.

Emil has a break for now with school, until we save for a summer block... Most likely we'll need to wait until the fall semester.

I got to babysit my sister's 7 kids for part of the week they were gone on a cruise a few weeks ago. I had SOOO MUCH FUNZA!!! I missed them right away...for DAYS after :( I really just loved every minute!!

We've got camping and trips planned this summer and are thankful to have the means to do them all!

Oh, and I died my hair and LOVE IT. :) There are 3 colors in it, the lighter being my natural, even tho you can't really tell...but it's fun!

Galatin, MO, USA, Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy

SO. I've been to outer space, it took longer then I thought it would to get back...

Emil has been doing all he can to support our family and do well in school. He is doing all his courses online. Finals are this week!! I've been busy with Spring Cleaning...it's been a few weeks since I finished though. I spent almost 50 hours, and have a few more things to do, cleaning and getting ready for summer.

This is my gorgeous little Sister Esy!



She is going to be reporting to the MTC in Provo this Wednesday!! She'll be serving the Lord in the Eugen Oregon Mission. I'm SOO incredibly proud of her!! Gonna miss her little guts!

We had a WONDERFUL trip to MO to visit her, my brother Sam and my parents in March. We had so much FUN being with my family. We laughed SO much and spent hours and hours just "chatting it up", as someone I know would say ;).

We have plenty more pics, but you only get to see 39, so your lucky!

We: visited Chruch History sites, went to the Nauvoo Temple, played games, drove the tractor, laughed, I got to make dinner once (it was ROAST BEEF and it was AWESOME), played with Sam's girl friend Erica's dog Luke!, made friends with all the animals..or maybe that was just me, and just enjoyed ourselves immensely!!

Upon our return home, we got pneumonia..so I guess we played REALLY hard.

This is in Logan during the winter. During the summer, it's just a hose or something that is running water constantly..what a big mess it is frozen!!



ABBY turned 8 on Sunday!! She'll be getting baptized this weekend.

We are SOO close! I love her mucho grande!!



I took her horse back riding for the first time last summer. FUN!



She really liked our cat we had named Aisa. It's been such a treat to have her visit!



Next week I will get to babysit her and her 6 brothers for four days! YIPPY!